1. There is no use in trying to be honest with an emotional manipulator.<\/strong>\u00a0You make a statement and it will be turned around. Example: I am really angry that you forgot my birthday. Response \u2013 \u201cIt makes me feel sad that you would think I would forget your birthday, I should have told you of the great personal stress I am facing at the moment \u2013 but you see I didn\u2019t want to trouble you. You are right I should have put all this pain (don\u2019t be surprised to see real tears at this point) aside and focused on your birthday. Sorry.\u201d Even as you are hearing the words you get the creeped out sensation that they really do NOT mean they are sorry at all \u2013 but since they\u2019ve said the words you\u2019re pretty much left with nothing more to say. Either that or you suddenly find yourself babysitting\u00a0their<\/em>\u00a0angst!! Under all circumstances if you feel this angle is being played \u2013 don\u2019t capitulate! Do not care take \u2013 do not accept an apology that feels like bullshit. If it feels like bullshit \u2013 it probably is. Rule number one \u2013 if dealing with an emotional blackmailer TRUST your gut. TRUST your senses. Once an emotional manipulator finds a successful maneuver \u2013 it\u2019s added to their hit list and you\u2019ll be fed a steady diet of this shit.<\/p>\n 2. An emotional manipulator is the picture of a willing helper.<\/strong>\u00a0If you ask them to do something they will almost always agree \u2013 that is IF they didn\u2019t volunteer to do it first. Then when you say, \u201cok thanks\u201d \u2013 they make a bunch of heavy sighs, or other non verbal signs that let you know they don\u2019t\u00a0really<\/strong>\u00a0want to do whatever said thing happens to be. When you tell them it doesn\u2019t seem like they want to do whatever \u2013 they will turn it around and try to make it seem like OF COURSE they wanted to and how unreasonable you are. This is a form of crazy making \u2013 which is something emotional manipulators are very good at. Rule number two \u2013 If an emotional manipulator said YES \u2013 make them accountable for it. Do NOT buy into the sighs and subtleties \u2013 if they don\u2019t want to do it \u2013 make them tell you it up front \u2013 or just put on the walk-man headphones and run a bath and leave them to their theater.<\/p>\n 3. Crazy making \u2013 saying one thing and later assuring you they did not say it.<\/strong>If you find yourself in a relationship where you figure you should start keeping a log of what\u2019s been said because you are beginning to question your own sanity \u2013You are experiencing emotional manipulation. An emotional manipulator is an expert in turning things around, rationalizing, justifying and explaining things away. They can lie so smoothly that you can sit looking at black and they\u2019ll call it white \u2013 and argue so persuasively that you begin to doubt your very senses. Over a period of time this is so insidious and eroding it can literally alter your sense of reality. WARNING: Emotional Manipulation is VERY Dangerous! It is very disconcerting for an emotional manipulator if you begin carrying a pad of paper and a pen and making notations during conversations. Feel free to let them know you just are feeling so \u201cforgetful\u201d these days that you want to record their words for posterity\u2019s sake. The damndest thing about this is that having to do such a thing is a clear example for why you should be seriously thinking about removing yourself from range in the first place. If you\u2019re toting a notebook to safeguard yourself \u2013 that ol\u2019 bullshit meter should be flashing steady by now!<\/p>\n 4. Guilt. Emotional manipulators are excellent guilt mongers.<\/strong>\u00a0They can make you feel guilty for speaking up or not speaking up, for being emotional or not being emotional enough, for giving and caring, or for not giving and caring enough. Any thing is fair game and open to guilt with an emotional manipulator. Emotional manipulators seldom express their needs or desires openly \u2013 they get what they want through emotional manipulation. Guilt is not the only form of this but it is a potent one. Most of us are pretty conditioned to do whatever is necessary to reduce our feelings of guilt. Another powerful emotion that is used is sympathy. An emotional manipulator is a great victim. They inspire a profound sense of needing to support, care for and nurture. Emotional Manipulators seldom fight their own fights or do their own dirty work. The crazy thing is that when you do it for them (which they will never ask directly for), they may just turn around and say they certainly didn\u2019t want or expect you to do anything! Try to make a point of not fighting other people\u2019s battles, or doing their dirty work for them. A great line is \u201cI have every confidence in your ability to work this out on your own\u201d \u2013 check out the response and note the bullshit meter once again.<\/p>\n 5. Emotional manipulators fight dirty.<\/strong>\u00a0They don\u2019t deal with things directly. They will talk around behind your back and eventually put others in the position of telling you what they would not say themselves. They are passive aggressive, meaning they find subtle ways of letting you know they are not happy little campers. They\u2019ll tell you what they think you want to hear and then do a bunch of jerk off shit to undermine it. Example: \u201cOf course I want you to go back to school honey and you\u00a0know<\/em>\u00a0I\u2019ll support you.\u201d Then exam night you are sitting at the table and poker buddies show up, the kids are crying the t.v. blasting and the dog needs walking \u2013 all the while \u201cSweetie\u201d is sitting on their ass looking at you blankly. Dare you call them on such behavior you are likely to hear, \u201cwell you can\u2019t expect life to just stop because you have an exam can you honey?\u201d Cry, scream or choke \u2018em \u2013 only the last will have any long-term benefits and it\u2019ll probably wind your butt in jail.<\/p>\n 6. If you have a headache an emotional manipulator will have a brain tumor!\u00a0<\/strong>No matter what your situation is the emotional manipulator has probably been there or is there now \u2013 but only ten times worse. It\u2019s hard after a period of time to feel emotionally connected to an emotional manipulator because they have a way of de-railing conversations and putting the spotlight back on themselves. If you call them on this behavior they will likely become\u00a0deeply<\/em>\u00a0wounded or very petulant and call you selfish \u2013 or claim that it is\u00a0you<\/em>\u00a0who are\u00a0always<\/em>\u00a0in the spotlight. The thing is that even tho you know this is not the case you are left with the impossible task of proving it. Don\u2019t bother \u2013 TRUST your gut and walk away!<\/p>\n 7. Emotional manipulators somehow have the ability to impact the emotional climate of those around them.<\/strong>\u00a0When an emotional manipulator is sad or angry the very room thrums with it \u2013 it brings a deep instinctual response to find someway to equalize the emotional climate and the quickest route is by making the emotional manipulator feel better \u2013 fixing whatever is broken for them. Stick with this type of loser for too long and you will be so enmeshed and co-dependent you will forget you even have needs \u2013 let alone that you have just as much right to have your needs met.<\/p>\n 8. Emotional manipulators have no sense of accountability.<\/strong>\u00a0They take no responsibility for themselves or their behavior \u2013 it is always about what everyone else has \u201cdone\u00a0to<\/strong>\u00a0them\u201d. One of the easiest ways to spot an emotional manipulator is that they often attempt to establish intimacy through the early sharing of deeply personal information that is generally of the \u201chook-you-in-and-make-you-sorry-for-me\u201d variety. Initially you may perceive this type of person as very sensitive, emotionally open and maybe a little vulnerable. Believe me when I say that an emotional manipulator is about as vulnerable as a rabid pit bull, and there will always be a problem or a crisis to overcome.<\/p>\n Credits:\u00a0MoreGreatMinds<\/a><\/p>\n http:\/\/themindunleashed.org\/2014\/07\/8-ways-protect-emotional-manipulation.html<\/p>\n<\/div>\n![\"emotionall\"](\"http:\/\/themindunleashed.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/emotionall.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\nEmotional Manipulation or Abuse<\/h1>\n